Friends: week 2

Friday, Jan 9th-
I went out to see Yoshio and Jeff from my frisbee team play in their band in an Irish pub in Jiyugaoka. I don't know why I haven't done it before, since Jiyugaoka is just a couple of stops down the Toyoko line from me. As it happened, it had been Jeff, Sarah and Luke's birthdays all on the previous Wednesday, so there was a call to go out posted on the team online forum.
In the pub, I met Minako, wife to Jacob, stalwart of the B-team ("Kuru") with whom I play. Jacob and Minako got married at Meiji Jingu last autumn, in a full, traditional Japanese ceremony. They make a lovely couple.
I also met Ben. Actually, I met him at frisbee a few nights previously but didn't really chat that much to him. Tonight I did. He's a University lecturer on Linguistics based in Hawaii and he sometimes comes to Japan to lecture here. He seemed to know everyone on the frisbee team really well. Ben told me all about 'Lei', the flower necklace greeting at the airport. I was under the impression it was a tradition extended to every beggar and baron that stepped off the plane by a funnel of beautiful Hawaiian women. It's not.

Saturday Jan 10th-
Another bad friends day. No-one in particular but I like to think I cemented a friendship with Hiro, tv actor and part-time bartender at the Meguro Tavern where I do a night a week. Lena, the floor-girl, has a thing going on with Kei, the main bartender and the boss refused to extend her hours now that another floor-girl is off back to Germany soon. So she quit, and Hiro was filling in as a floor-girl. he wasn't so convincing in this role. The guy's got to be 6'1" and every bit of him Man (except when he's drinking Red Eye, a mix I'd not heard of nor properly fathomed before I came to Tokyo- half a tomato juice and half a pint of lager).

Sunday Jan 11th-
Justin and Michi, friends from Yamagata are passing through Tokyo on the way back from a holiday in America. They stayed last night and today we hang out together. Michi has plans to meet old friends- first we go to Renoir, a faux-French tea parlour in Shibuya where we spot a famous comedian, whose name no-one can remember but whose tag-line everyone mimics in shockingly abrupt unison, finishing with peals of laughter hastily stifled. I meet Ai-chan, who is affably clumsy with the spoon in her drink and Yoshiko, the one that isn't married. Got both their numbers: friends. 2 for 2, this is looking like a good friends day- I should hang out with friends for making friends of friends more often. Later we go to meet Kanako, another old friend of Michi's. When Michi lived in Tokyo, Kanako was her housemate. Cue girlie squeals and hands held up to mouths. Kanako works in a clothes shop in the ultra-posh Daikanyama area. The shop is an old converted apartment- bathroom, kitchen and living room features are all still visible. We hide away in the storeroom (the next-door apartment) and try on clothes. I quite like a hat and Kanako offers it to me as a present. I figured she must be joking but 2 years in Japan tells me different- Japanese people rarely seem to joke when it comes to ludicrous acts of kindness. She later buys me the hat and Michi a scarf. Michi tells me and Justin Kanako's boyfriend belongs to a ver, very rich family. Recently they bought a building in Ginza, one of the most expensive areas in the world, let alone Japan. Honestly- who buys a building in Ginza? Kanako goes down as a friend- she must be, she bought me a hat.

Monday Jan 12th -
Cruising Precce supermarket and looking for cheap beef for a fried rice recipe, a stranger helpfully asks me if I am ok. Instant friend, he offered to help. I explain I'm looking for cheap beef and he says words to the effect of, 'You won' find that here mate'. I buy some famous Yamagata beef out of proud solidarity (I lived there for 2 years) and feel less cheated for that reason alone.
Evening, another shift in the Meguro Tavern. I met Wuiste (I guess), a Dane with a passion for cats and Cuban cigars. Bald, with a wisened look in his piercing eyes, he buys me a beer, shows me pictures of his pedigree cats on his mobile keitai phone and dreamily recounts a description of one of his cats: ' 6, maybe 7 kilos, very, very muscular...', before he is lost in wonder.

Tuesday Jan 13th -
A man walked up the stairs while I was cooking pasta and introduces himself as Alan. He looked bemused to see me there and I was at a loss as to who he was. We stare at each other for a second, him still in his coat and me with a colinder in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other. I quickly calculate whether they would suffice as a make-shift shield and sword if it came to that, but thankfully, housemate Jon and girlfriend (his, not mine) come bustling up the stairs before the penne starts to fly. Alan, Jon and Tomoko talk business and I feel a bit of a schmuck for having such an incomparably insignificant job as MGM, contact names and embassy talk all kicks off. Maybe I can befriend Alan next time. I'll offer him some pasta, or something.

Wednesday Jan 14th -
Regular conversation student Shun brought his mate Tatsuya to our slot last week, and then brought him to the pub on Monday. Tonight was my first lesson with Tatsuya. Friendship and another student secured...feels like friendship came first. Tatsuya likes British music- even Radiohead! This weekend he and Shun are going ice-fishing. They invited me, but I have to work so I'll miss it. I have no idea how they intend to drill through ice thick enough to support their weight and catch fish. Neither Tatsuya nor Shun seem sure whether or not bait is required.

Thursday Jan 15th -
Another evening under the lights at Hiroo High School, another frisbee practice with plenty of fresh faces. Osa is nice and her team-mates all very friendly too. Sadly Osa and friends disappear quickly once practice is finished, so no chance to have some dinner and drinks with them as usually our team does.

Friday Jan 16th -
Technically another friend-fail day, but I got to know new teacher at our school Daphne a bit more. Ian and his girlfriend Yuko-san, Juri and Daphne all came round for curry and banana bread at my place.

Friends: week 1

January 1st-

Bad start to the friends project. Can't remember meeting anybody new, but then, aren't New Year's Resolutions and their challenge spin-offs meant to come undone on Day 1?

However, last night I did befriend Laura, Sion's girlfriend, both now living in Yamagata, my old home. A carry-over friend to fill today's quota? From Wales, they had plenty of stories about the weird and wonderful characters of their hometowns: ragged, drunk ferrymen and sailors of the seven seas. Cemented the friendship shrine hopping at midnight and watching Japanese people burn old fortunes and tokens of luck.

January 2nd-

Friend! Lee from Mogami, just back from a trip to Tokyo to meet his boyfriend. I met him at my friend Nicole's place for a mini dinner party also with Sion and Laura. Mad for Mac and Apple, Lee let me use his iPhone to check my e-mails, he must be my friend.

January 3rd-

Out for drinks and dinner with Nicole and Laura, later joined by Makiko and Yuta. We started in a place called 招き豚 (ManekiButa, The The Inviting Pig?!). It used to be a stand-up bar and skewered meat kind of place but they've lashed beers crates together and put cushions on top along one side of the bar. Sitting next to me was Yasu, and next to him were two girls, one of which was very probably his girlfriend. It's always difficult to tell. Dressed in technicolour hip-hop and bucket cap, he had a swagger about him that didn't really ring true, like a 5 year old in a Superman costume. But he was very friendly. The 2 girls got coy when I asked them which hospital they work at once they'd said they are nurses. I said, 'I'm not a pervert, it's ok' but of course you always look like a pervert when you say something like that. Yasu, like Lee, also lives in Mogami, or he used to. Now he works in Yakitori (skewered meat) place himself, in Saitama Prefecture. Friend.

January 4th-

Minus points. I don't think I can call Makiko a friend any more. Got drunk and tried to kiss her at the end of the night, but she didn't seem to want to kiss me. She was all, 'Let's hang out again!' texting later but I think I burnt a bridge there. Unfinished business finished!

On the up side, I met a fireman from Sendai on the chairlift on Mt. Zao. I'd come back to Yamagata for my winter holiday to ski and that's what I did for 5 days straight, 2 of them solo ski days. The chairlift was the perfect friend vehicle- a finite conversation (you have to get off at some point) so no awkwardness, just enough time to get to know the particulars of a person and no escape for them, unless they want to jump the lift and risk losing their ski pass or the ability to walk.

Over the 2 solo ski days I also met a salaryman from Osaka, another business man from Yokohama, a recently graduated young guy from nearby Yonezawa who I didn't really understand because he talked like he had a mouthful of marbles and a mother and son. Son turned out to be one of the kids I used to teach occasionally at Elementary school in Yamagata but the little s$*@ couldn't remember my name! It's only been 5 months since I left! Later bumped into Sakamoto Sensei from the City Hall and couldn't remember his name at the time. He knew I didn't know and he knew my name. Bit awkward.

January 5th-

Suddenly it seems there are potential friends everywhere. I spent 7 hours on a bus back down to Tokyo sitting next to someone. HE could have been a friend! But I was too hungover to inhale properly, let alone talk.

Saved by the pub, a shoe-in for friends every Monday night with me stuck there another 7 hours on the wrong side of the bar. I met Mine, pronounced Mee-nay, a jazz singer and in pub owner Garth's own words, 'a bit of hard work'. He's just very difficult to understand and appears to be as deaf as a hammer, which doesn't really make for such a good conversation. Still, we shook hands and he just about got my name, so we must be friends.

January 6th-

First day back at school but no kids, just office stuff and getting ready. Evening I went to Hiroo Junior High School sports field (well, dirt field) for weekly night frisbee practice. Loads of new people, although apparently many are just in transit through Tokyo. However I did meet Rob, shoeless, web programmer for a nightclub website I've heard about before. He was marking me for a bit and we had a chat in a pause in play.

January 7th-

I meet a kindred spirit. Yoshii really wanted to meet people. Went to a launch party for an exhibition of Dr Sketchy's art collective in the Pink Cow in Shibuya to meet my friend Martine and hopefully make some more. Yoshii was standing in front of the door when I walked in and pounced on me. Unemployed, a former trainspotter and speaking excellent English, Yoshii was waiting for me outside the toilet once I'd finished in there too. I asked him if there was one train he always wanted to shoot but never did, the one that got away. I also asked him if there were fights between trainspotters over the prime locations on the station platforms. Yoshii stopped a lot to mop the sweat from his brow and had a real intensity when he talked. To be honest, Yoshii scared me a little, but in the spirit of things I carried on talking with him until Martine's friend Paul, excellent facial hair and man with circus contacts rescued me and abducted the conversation.

Thereafter met some of Martine's other friends, notably, fellow Brit Sarah, who it happens worked with a girl called Vernon I knew that lived in Tokyo last year.

Earlier on in the day I met Rina, 2 and half, new student at school. I'd like to call her friend, but she was crying when I talked to her so I might just call her an acquaintance for the time being. I think she wanted her mum or something.

A new project

Most people start off the New Year with a hangover and a couple of flimsy New Year's Resolutions. I'm no different, except I started 2009 with just one flimsy resolution. It's more of a challenge, actually.

More friends.

That's it.

At the end of 2008 I found myself woefully single and with few friends to call up once the winter holiday had started. It's not that I haven't met many people- far from it, I seem to meet people every day. Over 10% of the population of Japan live in Tokyo, clocking in at over 12 million and half of them seem to cross my path every day in the human crush. I just haven't, you know, befriended too many of the people I've met. I haven't really been making the effort.

Also, I found myself missing something. It feels exciting to talk to new people. It's exciting to walk into a room in which you know one person and nothing else. I like to surprise people and talk to them in situations in which normally you might not talk. I missed signing up for activities, clubs, teams, anything, and meeting people.

I had my flimsy resolution come challenge then. A friend for every day of the year. One friend per day. If I could do that, I'd practically double my Facebook friends. I'd never want for someone to talk to or go for a drink with, or maybe a jog. But what constitutes a friend? Surely I'd have to know more than their name, but how much more? Telephone number? Favourite colour? I didn't really come up with an answer to this one. I've got good friends who I hardly know and I've got better friends I've hardly known for the last two years. How much you know about a person or how much you're in contact with them didn't seem to matter. What did, what does matter, is the trying. Making friends (in the present progressive). I want to just start talking to people more.

Tokyo Construction

Until recently, there was a large space with two giant, derelict open warehouse buildings behind the kindergarten I work at in Meguro. They were there until the JCBs arrived. We’re on the 8th floor and for the past fortnight, watching the wrecking and disassembly of the buildings has been a brilliant daily distraction for teachers and toddlers alike. Well, for the boys- the girls are turned off while we all gape at the sheer power of it all and drool over hydraulics. Even the girls agree that the diggers look like dinosaurs though, and that’s got to be pretty cool by anyone’s book.

Normally hidden behind construction site barriers, I’ve seen those diggers exhibit their full repertoire of tricks, both delicate and destructive. The same clipper that makes matchsticks out of metal girders can pick up a hose pipe and drop it unscathed. The wrecking head that caves in a roof one second carefully nudges a cone out of the path of the digger the next. It’s awesome stuff.

However, the real stars of the show are undoubtedly the Japanese construction workers themselves. Late on one day we watched one worker demonstrating to another the perfect golf swing, using a piece of scrap metal. He actually walked him through it, showing how to swivel and move your body just like a pro on the fairway. Also, for no apparent reason, at least one worker will always aim a hose at whatever carnage the diggers are wreaking, and there always be one man dressed impeccably in uniform at the gate to the construction site.

Then one day the Shinto priest arrived. Barely visible from so high, tucked in a corner near the entrance stood a tiny torii gate. If it weren’t painted in the distinctive and eye-catching vermilion colour, we might never have noticed it. While chaos was orchestrated by the dinosaurs and the buildings came crashing down, the construction workers shielded the torii like it was the last living thing on earth- the entire site was covered in rubble and brick dust except for this one corner. The priest got straight down to business making peace with whatever god or spirit resided there. He cut an incongruous figure in ceremonial robes, standing shoulder to shoulder with the construction workers but asserted himself immediately, pushing them into the right place before beginning. It made for a hilarious slapstick scene and you could just hear him saying ‘No, not there, there!’ as they shuffled about awkwardly, helmets in hands. Next the priest threw some paper about, beat himself on the back of the shoulders with a stick of some sort and bowed and turned and bowed a lot. Clearly, I know about as much about the sacred rites as the construction workers. The next time I was able to glance down at the corner, the torii gate and the priest had gone. There should still be some buildings left though if you want to witness the greatest construction show in Tokyo.

Christmas socks, Christmas concert, Santa Hats drying on the line

 
 
 

Ambitions

I found myself on the longest road in Japan the other day. Somewhere near Togoshiginza station. It seemed kind of fitting for the evening that followed. My frisbee team had an End-of-Year party (Bonenkai) and a lot of the team plus a few new faces showed up. One or two of the new faces were co-workers of Jei and Kerry, both employed by Wall Street Associates, a recruitment firm. One of the new faces was none other than the ex-President of AJET, the main support network and social branch of the JET programme. it's a big position. She had moved from the top of the JET programme to Wall Street Associates and was soon to return to the States to work in the State Department under Hillary Clinton.

A few weeks ago, I finally took the Japanese Language Proficiency Test, for which I stayed in Japan. I happened to pick up full-time employment in a kindergarten / international school for Japanese kids whilst looking for enough to survive until the test and now that's what I do. I moved on from teaching English in the countryside, to teaching English in the city, and I can't help but wonder where did it all go wrong?!

二郎 Ramen Shop

Co-workers Kei and Kuni working in the Tavern pub keep a book, 'Uwasa no Ramen', or 'Gossip/Rumour Ramen' that Kei picked up in a second hand bookstore. It's kind of my bible. Kuni pointed out his recommendations, including the guide's no.1 ramen shop (at least, 2007's no. 1), just down the road from me. Jiro.

I thought maybe I'd gone too far but then I saw a couple of men queuing outside the doorway of an establishment. The first good sign. The second good sign, though I didn't realise it immediately, was a big barrel of a man with a squint in one eye and a greasy t-shirt on, loitering beside the customers sat at the counter. The third and final good sign was the lack of options at the token-vending machine. Many ramen shops use vending system, rather than burden the ramen chefs with cash handling and the machines usually display a good two dozen options of size, soup and toppings. Jiro had 6. There was no distinction between miso, soy or salt-soup ramen. You know a ramen joint means business when they don't even identify their soup. It's not miso, soy or salt, it's just meat broth.

Once a couple of customers had vacated their seats and hurried on, I took a place and the second good sign came good. A space had been created at the counter and the man with a squint starting passing over plastic sacks of meat. The good stuff. When my bowl of noodles and meat broth arrived shortly after, it was topped off with a chunk of meat the succulence of which I have rarely tasted in a ramen joint. And the final touch, a fistful of chopped garlic tossed on top. I didn't eat again that day.