At the start of the year I made a flimsy resolution. A friend a day. Looking back on how January went, that didn't happen. However, I did make some new friends and renew some old friendships. I learnt a few things about finding friends in such an impossibly large city. I got out more, took a few more chances and learnt a lot about attitude to life. And such.
The first thing I discovered on my January friend-finding adventures is that you meet a lot of people in Tokyo. Recording each day and the people I encountered I found out that they amount to a lot, but I never thought about them as friends or possible friends before, just people I happened to share the same room with for a while before we set off on our own paths again. There's no reason they shouldn't be friends. There's no reason anyone I see or have any contact with shouldn't be friends. I learnt to be more open-minded when meeting people I initially thought didn't share many interests with me and so couldn't become a close friend. Sometimes just spending time together is enough.
I learnt my schedule better too, something I didn't think I had. I do have a routine and it's pretty firmly set from week to week. I work in a pre-school. I work in a pub. I play frisbee. I meet conversation class students. I write for this or that. I try and get out at the weekends and invite people for dinner during the week. You're so much better prepared for efficient time-management when you have your day, week, month recorded. The next decision, I guess, is whether or not to break the routine and find different things to do to meet more people or just change things around. Quit the pub and start working a little in an izakaye (Japanese pub) instead. Start playing football instead of frisbee. Quit the day job, buy some more shirts and maybe a pair of cufflinks for the fancy days and find a job in recruitment. Leave Japan. Or stay and stick to the same weekly routine.
Also, it was good to learn a little about planning ahead and saving moneys for this or that, which I'm usually pretty crap at. I can't afford to go out every night and my pay-check sometimes limits friend-finding opportunities. That in turn meant I had to make the most of any occasion I did find myself out after dark.
It also means I have to think of other ways to make friends and meet people. I had to shed pre-conceived opinions about things I'd normally not think about doing. Using the classifieds sections a lot more. Speed-Dating in the pleasure district of yesteryear, Roppongi, which I plan to do with friends in a week or two if only just for some fun. Going out with people I don't really know too well, or even suggesting going out with people I don't know too well.
Finally, the friends resolution has brought me closer to my blog. I used to write a lot, the first year I spent in Japan. The second year I feel like I was doing more things than writing about them. But then things slacked off for no reason. It's been good to have to think a little, just a little mind, about writing, and specifically about writing people. A kind of social catalogue of everyone I encounter.
From here, I continue. Maybe not a friend a day, but definitely not losing some of the things I've learnt.
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