Christmas shopping

This is very much a traumatic affair, an annual, traumatic affair.

This year I found myself in an awful, traumatic human tangle on the ground floor of the Oxford Street branch of John Lewis, fighting for access between display stands bearing thoughtfully packaged and well-presented foodstuffs, perfumes, lotions, superfluous stationary and all the other accompanying accoutrements of Christmas (board games, wooden toys, cards and gift wrapping, bored children with mittens on strings), in this mind-numbing, department store light. It all came to a head as I debated spending five pounds on gift tags- nothing more than a folded piece of card with a hole punched in one corner and a barcode on the back.

Even my attempts to skip off the masses with a digital bounce were thwarted this year. The book my brother wanted wasn't in stock. The snow and the ice has stopped any postal guarantee for internet purchases. The cheese website crashed, or wouldn't load, or something. I don't recall why I thought buying cheese over the internet seemed like a good idea, but it did at some point.

I finally caught a break yesterday. I had one more little something to get and the shop I had in mind was a ways away, but I had time and the inclination to wander.

I passed by L'Occitane on my way and a sales assistant inexplicably spraying the area around the door with one of those perfume atomizers with a cord and a spongy ball at the end. I walked past, stopped, turned back and went in. Could have been the perfume. Not really sure. In any case, I was presented with a glass of champagne the moment I entered. Here was something for nothing and I instantly congratulated myself on the best Christmas shopping decision of this year. I found something and bought it from the same sales assistant that had sprayed the door space and offered me the champagne. She processed the transaction, slipped the product in a bag and then she did something else inexplicable. She took a sheet of pink crepe paper, loosely stuffed it into the bag and then jammed the bottle of perfume in and sprayed a good puff-puff-puff, and another puff for good measure. People always seem to want to go the extra mile at Christmas time, even if it's a bafflingly strange gesture, like spraying the inside of a bag.