Yellowstone National Park

So far it's been roughly a drama a day. Run-ins with scary drunk bar flies in motel bars, cops, guns, sketchy areas and monstrous burritos that threaten to burst my stomach. And we haven't even got to 'Nawlins yet.

But on the way to Yellowstone, disaster struck.

I won't say who. But maybe you can figure it out since most of the traveling companions are in fact inanimate toys (two handmade felt frogs and, recently, a large bobcat puppet). One traveling companion forgot to screw the oil cap back on after we'd diligently topped up the engine greaser. Roughly 300 miles later we discovered this.

Bob the sales assistant in the Auto Parts shop was remarkably understanding when we told him we didn't know what model Nissan Sentra we'd been driving since California. Same situation in England, the guy would laugh in your face and still joke about you, in a supercilious way, for another week.

Yellowstone has an embarrassment of riches of natural freaks, volcano tableland, white scree like dusting of first snow with firs popping out, mud-pots and mud volcanoes, bubbling innocuously like brown rice left on the boil to soupy brown gruel, geysers puffing out water and shooting vapour clouds up tall as you can see from far, cool aquamarine pools and turquoise hot springs crusted orange round the edge by God or scientists know what minerals. And all of it, all of the good stuff was accessible by car.

The wildlife was a gimmee too - elk stroll the streets in tiny Mammoth at the northern end of the park. We saw an adolescent wolf cub picking it's way through the grass, oblivious or indifferent to the traffic that had jerked to a halt and a column up on top of the bank, binoculars and digi vidi cams brandished. Three times we passed bison by the road. Twice we watched rogue bison casually stroll down the road toward oncoming cars. There was some kind of funky swan-goose everywhere and rich vegetation held it all together in the park.

Another thing of note - I ate steak and freedom fries for the first time. Champ paced it all wrong and couldn't finish his, so I heaped shame and embarrassment on him by chomping through a small ice cream (it really wasn't small, portions are at least a size up here) for desert.